Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
