I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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