Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
