my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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