and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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