Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
