Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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