Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
tell me about the fingering
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