Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
