wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
