Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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