I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
