So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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