his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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