"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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