Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
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