I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
