I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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