I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
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