question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
