We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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