Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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