I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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