You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
