420 ftw
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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