Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
