Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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