Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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