I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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