just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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