did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
