You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize