then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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