There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
