HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
