two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
