you guys were way drunker than both of me
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
