Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
