when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
