he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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