im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
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I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Dear god my vagina.
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