My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
