I got chris browned last night
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
