she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
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please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
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View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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