this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
