your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
