worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
