do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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