I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
