you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
