you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
