don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
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Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
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Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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