im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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