I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
