I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
