I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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