Jerry, you need to find god
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
