the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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