I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
