White coat. Heels.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
