I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
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I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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