It was confusing and full of hummus
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
